Nightmares and Personal Value

The other morning, I woke up from one of those terrible dreams that seems so realistic that even after you are awake for awhile, you still have that queasy stomach and can’t stop thinking about what “happened.”

My logic told me that it wasn’t real, but my emotions had not quite woken up, even after my second cup of tea. All morning, I kept going back and forth between thinking about the dream and those feelings and reminding myself of what is real and happening now.

So my bad dream was about my husband saying that he was leaving me for someone else. I won’t go into any details. You get: It was devastating. I mean, if you know me at all, you know that I really like him, and I want him to stick around, like forever.   

When I woke up with all of those emotions and still a bit groggy, my first inclination was to go right to him and say something like, “Oh my goodness...please don’t ever leave me. There’s not someone else, is there? Do you think I’m pretty? Do you still love me? Cause I really really love you.”  

And his response would be, “Good morning? What is wrong with you?”

You see, my knee-jerk reaction would have been out of insecurity and desperation. My love for him and our mutual relationship quickly turned into a clingy neediness that could possibly be the most unattractive quality for a person in any relationship. That “please love me” desperation along with morning breath can be a very toxic combination.  

For the record, I did not actually act on these early morning impulses.  As I went through my morning routine and quiet time, I did think about our relationship. Instead of dwelling on that needy desperation, I focused on my value as a wife, a business partner, a best friend. So what could I do better in our relationship to be even more of a value to him? Notice, I don’t say, “How can I ensure that this will in no way ever happen?” He has free will, and I cannot control every choice that he makes. I also cannot control his feelings and thoughts. Yep, all up to him. I only have control of me and my part in our relationship.  

See where I’m going with this? This same exercise in personal value and self-worth can be applied to your craft, too.

Your business, your art, your writing, and your ventures are all so personal to you. This hard work that you put forth every day comes from your gut and your spirit. But wait...

What if they reject you?
What if they have a bad customer service experience?
What happens if they disagree with your choices?
Your opinions?
Your service?

This is where so many of us might jump into the “please love me!” reaction in an attempt to appease every customer possible. But the truth is: Not everybody is going to love you ore even like you. It hurts, I know, but they have free will, views of their own, and options to go elsewhere. And that’s okay!

Dig deep and make sure that you are doing everything that is in your power to produce the best results for your company or your art. Always look at yourself and reevaluate your value and what you are offering.

Continue to search for ways to grow and be better in order to meet customers’ needs while understanding as you go that you will not always be everyone's cup of tea.

But no matter what, never forget that you are spectacular at what you do and you are a wanted commodity that does not have to beg for recognition and business.

Always know your value!

What are some ways you doubt yourself, and how have you overcome those doubts? How do you remind yourself of your self-worth?


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