Life's Messy, But Getting Dirty Can Be Refreshing

We love encouraging those trying to better themselves. We show up big time for all the people who show enthusiasm for us and who respond well to us, whether in person or to our social media selves.

The connections we form inevitably happen for a reason; maybe you are like-minded, you have similar goals, or because you “get” something from the other person.

The connections we make with those who contribute something to our lives and help fuel our success are important. But you know what else is important? The people who don’t quite know what we do for a living (and don’t really care).

They simply show up for us where we are, and we do the same for them; and no matter what, we both know that we care about each other. And let’s be honest, sometimes it means getting down and dirty and going places that are not necessarily in our comfort zone.  

This week was an emotional challenge for me with no instant gratification or end in sight. There’s someone I know who I heard was in trouble—the circumstances of her life in the current moment are pretty messy, so I reached out to her knowing she may not respond.

She replied, and suddenly, I felt conflicted. I wanted to see her but was nervous to see her all at once. Nerves aside, I knew that she needed someone to show up for her, to tell her the truth, and to show her mercy and the love of God.

“Really, am I the only one that can do this? I don’t know what to believe or what to say to her.  I’m not super excited about getting emotionally involved in her personal business. It seems really messy, and I try to stay away from drama.”

I apologize if any of this shocks you, but all of these thoughts ran through my head after I first made contact with her and before convincing myself to follow through and meet up with her. What can I say? I’m messy, too.

Well, I ended up meeting with her, and we talked for a long time. We didn’t solve the world’s problems or hers for that matter. There are a lot of layers there that frankly, I may not have the understanding or tools to help her address. She’s not like me, and I’m not like her. She’s in a situation that goal setting, time-blocking, and script practicing aren’t going to fix.

But what we did do is laugh, share, cry, and get dirty in the mire and muck of our lives.

I was able to show up for her, not because I live where she lives or because I like her decisions, but because I have made mistakes, been hurt, felt hopeless, and have had people reach out and love me through it all. They simply showed up for me. And I wanted to show up for her.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

- Psalm 34:18

You don’t have to have all the answers or be a licensed therapist to show up for those who are in the middle of life’s worst parts. Whether they got pushed in or jumped in themselves; it doesn’t matter. Someone may just need you to grab a hold of the other end of the stick and pull them out of the mud.

I know, for me, never has getting dirty felt so refreshing.

A friend loves at all times.

- Proverbs 17:17


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